I am having trouble conforming to the medical procedures I have been trained to use as an EMT-B.
I follow the protocol for the most part but I have found myself confronted with situations that were deemed beyond the parameters and authority of an EMT-B.
I suppose I have trouble understanding that I am no longer in a battlefield situation when the injuries are extreme and so I find myself doing what is necessary to save a life, that is for the most part, the realm of lisenced physicians.
We were expected to do"what we can" and the conditioning never left me. I find myself going into "combat mode" ( if it is bleeding, make it stop!) and reacting instead of thinking about the law. There was no law there and the injuries were beyond what is typically encountered in non combat society.
Now I want to take the fire school course again and be recertified to start the process over as I stopped for along time because of my failure to follow the rules.
DO ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO LET GO OF MY FORMER TRAINING/CONDITIONING?
I have tried counseling but everyone I saw had the same reaction and suggestion. They all said they felt they were not qualified to deal with a person with my degree of emotional and psycological damage and suggested I see someone else. ( War situations seemed to be too intense for them).
I can only wonder if my problems are too difficult for a mature adult trained as a psychiatrist to cope with then how do they feel we 18 year old "children" of the killing fields are handling it all the years since, alone.. because they can not or will not help?
All told me that I was supressing my emotions and this was not good for me to do. I am at a loss to know what else to do that would be socially acceptable.
I feel acceptance is the key to cope with everything in this life. I love all living things too much to just look away when I can help, I am just not able to be that selfish.
The VA representatives I saw told me simply,... " what was necessary there is unacceptable here".